It's a hole in one!

[gilpin25]

Yesterday was a very annoying day and, just to round it off to perfection, we had a late night phone call from a couple of friends asking if we fancied resurrecting our Quiz Team quartet with them. The short and honest answer is no. Unfortunately, they're difficult to argue with because logic has little meaning for them:

Me: "I thought you said 'Never, ever again as long as we live' after that night at the village hall?"

Him: "Yes, but time's passed and we were remembering the good times last night, and all the laughs we had."

Me: "Remind me of some of those laughs? Aren't we the team who always came fourth, there was only ever three prizes, and you two nearly had to go for marriage guidance counselling after the last one?"

Him: "Yes, but it was funny when you won the two top prizes in the raffle in the one at the police club, they asked you to pick the next ticket and you drew yourself out again!"

Me: "Oh, yes, that one. Wasn't that the one where your wife had an argument with the quiz master over the answer to a question? Along with me appearing to have fixed the raffle in a room full of irate policemen. I really enjoyed that."

Him: "And that last quiz was ever so funny, especially when you couldn't remember which number Privet Drive Harry Potter lived at!"

Me: "I couldn't think above the sound of parents ringing their kids on mobiles to ask. Besides, wasn't it you who attempted to lynch the vicar for allowing everyone to cheat, and called him a very rude name?"

Him: "Yes, but he's left now so we've got a new one who doesn't know us..."

Apparently we've got a couple of weeks to think of ways to get out of this, and I'm currently favouring a contagious illness. It's not that they're not fun, in the way that an evening of extreme pressure where you sweat like mad in case you can't answer your specialist subject is (mine are films, books, history, sport, TV, and what number Harry Potter lives at), but our friends are very clever AND very competitive. It's a deadly combination. Plus we always come fourth.

Then there's the golf. Yes, it's Ryder Cup time, and as my best mate's ex-husband is a golf fanatic, and we all got dragged round a few golf tournaments at one time we watch it. (They didn't split up because of the golf obsession, but I don't think it helped as he didn't notice a few things. Like her boyfriend). And we keep getting excited, hysterical phone calls from him. "Did you see the three iron Westwood just played?! Did you see the fade from left to right?! What a drive by Montgomery as well!"

Meanwhile, I've worked out it's all down to the clothes. Who dresses this lot? (And I'd like to dress Paul Casey;)) It's quite obvious Tiger Woods can't play in green or blue so why put him in it? (Though as a Brit, I should be grateful). They've put our lot in stripes, which is hard on the eyes, but when it rains it's a master-stroke as they're a complete blur, which must really confuse the poor Americans when they stand by the hole. Yesterday, they had David Tennant-like little brown jumpers, so it was obvious from the moment they appeared that they were going to win. The result of the singles tomorrow really hinges on who has the best fashion sense. ;)

And in amongst all this, I'm trying to write. So get ready for the first ever R/T golf fic, although I do fancy doing The Order Quiz Night... ;)

Comments

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

Does that mean you're working golf into the epilogue? I don't think that was in the plan. Not that that's ever stopped you....

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Whatever Paul Casey wears tomorrow, Remus will be wearing in the epilogue. Don't you think he'll look nice in that cap? Just hope some bright spark doesn't dress them in pink, because that might not give the impression I was hoping for. ;)

Have written a paragraph of The Order Quiz Night while I thought of it. Can we work that in as well? LOL

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

I think we should put him in a pointy wizard's hat.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

It might put Paul Casey off his game. Extra weight probably ruins the swing. ;)

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

I meant Remus, when he and Tonks play golf all night in the epilogue.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I know you did, but I'm now writing a Paul Casey epilogue. You said I could do what I liked... ;)

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

When did I say THAT?

No wonder we've been working on this since may. Look what I'm working with, and all these tangents! ;)

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Well I'm having to contend with your lack of memory. The other day you told me it was June. ;)

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

I think it was May.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I think it just feels like May 2003. I was still posting Cards in July and you know I can't write two things at once. ;)

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

Are you sure? Because I know we put off writing because of the rt_challenge, and that was June, wasn't it?

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

If anyone's following this and worried that it may never get settled, rest assured that we've now agreed we were talking about it in May, postponed starting it in June due to the ficathon, and started it in July. It's all perfectly simple... ;)

[an-fhanai.livejournal.com]

An R/T golf fic? I'm heartily in favour. Can you IMAGINE all the destruction that Tonks could wreak with a golf club and a ball? The mind boggles.

Along with me appearing to have fixed the raffle in a room full of irate policemen.

That's an amusing picture - what in the world was being raffled?

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

That could be more dangerous than Tonks playing Quidditch.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

That's an amusing picture - what in the world was being raffled?

Drink and boxes of chocolates mainly, plus a few daft things. I won both bottles of scotch and the brandy, leaving the other sixty or so people to fight over the cheap wine and bottles of pop. There wasn't much clapping by the third one, and a lot of under the breath mutters... ;)

As for a golf fic - it could be survival of the fittest if Tonks was let loose!

[an-fhanai.livejournal.com]

Would you PLEEEEASE write something like that? Please please please? I can totally picture someone getting smacked with a rogue golf club when Tonks loses hold of it. Heehee.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I'll add it to the ever-growing list of Fics I Must Do. Perhaps it could be the sequel to "Up All Night", providing they both survive it, and feel like a round of golf afterwards... ;)

[joely-jo.livejournal.com]

'Yesterday, they had David Tennant-like little brown jumpers, so it was obvious from the moment they appeared that they were going to win. The result of the singles tomorrow really hinges on who has the best fashion sense. ;)'

ROFLMAO. Oh, I weep. But it's so true... So much for tortillas, I say.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Am quite worried as we're in scarlet... Could DT wear that? Of course! While the US Team are in stripy maroon. Still everyone's in rain gear so it probably negates the fashion battle. ;)

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

I think The Order pub quiz team sounds like a winner - you could set it at the Hogshead, and the prize could be a goat.... Dung would rope everyone into it, despite not really knowing anything, and he'd put everyone off by throwing out nonsense answers, while Remus tries to drink himself into a coma in the corner just to be done with it.... See? Winning idea ;).

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

So you're encouraging me to tackle the delicate issues of Dung and a goat in the same story?! You just want to get me ostracized, don't you... ;)

Have actually jotted down a couple of pages of pure insanity (it's amazing how I can multi-task while watching golf). I don't know if it will ever be fit to see the light of day, but I thought the Order might have a quiz night to cheer Sirius up, Snape and Remus would find themselves as insanely competitive opposing captains, and Mad-Eye would resemble a sergeant-major type quiz master who I once had the pleasure of meeting. Dung is a completely useless member of someone's team, so all it does lack is the goat, LOL.

Are you feeling better and can you speak again?

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

Dung would so be the one picked last when they were choosing teams. Snape would probably try and swap him for a satsuma, and Remus would grudgingly accept him. I can picture Mad-Eye trying to make it some kind of Constant Vigilance round - questions about how to avoid covert poisoning and the like, and everyone groaning.

Are you feeling better and can you speak again?

Er, no. Have developed quite an impressive fever, so please excuse any delusional ramblings. Currently I'm at more of a breathy croak voice wise. I can get a sentence out, but then I have to have a coughing fit to make up for it. Had no sleep at all last night, and just fell asleep at my computer. To make matters worse, I had a 'romantic' dream about Jeremy Clarkson, of all people. Thank you, brain. Way to kick a girl when she's down.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I can picture Mad-Eye trying to make it some kind of Constant Vigilance round - questions about how to avoid covert poisoning and the like, and everyone groaning.

It's The Defence Against The Dark Arts Round where it's nearly a fight to the death. ;) But I'm quite taken with a Miscellaneous Mad-Eye round on obscure poisons, and which wounds prove fatal...

Had no sleep at all last night, and just fell asleep at my computer. To make matters worse, I had a 'romantic' dream about Jeremy Clarkson, of all people.

Sounds like you have the Coughing/Flu like Thing which did the rounds here last month and is horrible. But Jeremy Carkson? That's got to be a sign you're very unwell and should be taking it easy. Get better. :)

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Am certain a bit of David Tennant this week will perk me up.

Clearly I'm deranged, and even though I know the Clarkson thing was probably because last night I was reading something he wrote about Richard Hammond, it's no excuse for my twisted brain to have us end up on a kitchen table....

But I'm quite taken with a Miscellaneous Mad-Eye round on obscure poisons, and which wounds prove fatal...

Could be a whole new twist on the sudden death round if there's two teams tied in first place....

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

I spend all day obsessive-compulsively changing all my Lupins to Remuses, and I miss out on the greatest fic brainstorm. Snape trading Dung for a satsuma is priceless. Surely he'll bargain to try and get Tonks on his team, though? Though be careful -- if he calls her Nymphadora, you might get reviews telling you to be careful, lest you suggest Snape have Tonks lust.

ladybracknell, I'm sorry you're so ill! Has Remus come by with lemon and honey, and maybe some chocolate?

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

Am still awaiting Nursemaid Remus, sadly. I could definitely do with some brow mopping, though.

Snape trading Dung for a satsuma is priceless. Surely he'll bargain to try and get Tonks on his team, though? Though be careful -- if he calls her Nymphadora, you might get reviews telling you to be careful, lest you suggest Snape have Tonks lust.

And we all know you wouldn't want that ;). Snape would, of course, pick Tonks just to spite Remus, and Remus would get narked but try not to show it. Then he'd take his frustration out of Dung and tell him he wishes he'd stuck with the satsuma....

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, although Remus hasn't found it at all amusing, Tonks has ended up on Snape's team. Still, Remus has the dubious assistance of Sirius, Arthur and Dung to make up for it, so I don't know why he's so bitter and twisted... Sirius has even offered to play footsie under the table so he doesn't miss out. ;)

I'm thinking of referring to her as Nymphie throughout all this, to avoid all possible name difficulties. I know that's a firm favourite amongst many, and it'll be interesting to see if I can type it without grinding my teeth at the same time.

You're still Crookshanked? No improvement? You really need DT brought forward to tonight, I think, though it will doubtless cause more brow-mopping.

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

I'd have said Sirius, Arthur, Dung and Remus were pretty much the winning combination - what with Sirius being banged up for over a decade, he's bound to be a great help with the pop music round and current affairs, Arthur's huge knowledge-base of the incorrect terms for Muggle artifacts is bound to come in handy, and I'm sure Dung is a whizz on classics and art. Snape must be quaking in his pixie boots....

You're still Crookshanked? No improvement? You really need DT brought forward to tonight, I think, though it will doubtless cause more brow-mopping.

Would love some DT distraction today - see if I can push my temperature past boiling point ;). Am feeling slightly more chipper today, although I think that might be because the new drugs The Boyfriend bought me this morning have caffeine in them, and I don't normally do caffeine, rather than me having improved. Had a massive coughing fit at around 3am and couldn't get back to sleep, which at least staved off my feverish, delerious dreams about inappropriate TV presenters....

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Snape must be quaking in his pixie boots....

There's something about that image that appeals far too much to me, and I haven't got the excuse of a temperature. I'm thinking of having a Cookery Round as Snape has Molly on his side, and I thought that would make Remus even grumpier. But I've realised I haven't got a name for Snape's team so suggestions are welcome - the other members being Kingsley and Hestia to make up an unlikely foursome.

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

I always saw Snape as maybe having pixie boots or even winklepickers on under those billowing robes....

Hmmm.... What would Snape call his team? I'm tempted to think he'd go for something traditional - take one look at his team and christen them Norfolk'n'Chance.... Or if he's a bit more into it, Severus and the Three Orderteers? Snape's Super Scarab-beetles?

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I like all three, but I also like Snape's Winklepickers. You don't make it easy, do you? ;)

Next time I suggest a cookery round, remind me it means I have to know something about the subject as well to make up the questions. I should have done golf.

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

Snape's Winklepickers might be the most amusing, since there's probably a very limited audience (possibly just us) who know what they are, and the rest would probably think it was something very rude....

I find making up questions of any kind really hard - a couple of years in a row I compiled a crossword for something at work, and it used to take me days to come up with two dozen clues, regardless of the fact that it was themed around my specialist subject. In fact, I think that made it harder, because as well as coming up with the approprate questions, I was second guessing whether they were too easy or not.

Obviously if you want any 'which ingredients turn wheat-free pastry into a glue-like substance that sticks to everything' questions, I'm your girl ;).

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Snape's Winklepickers might be the most amusing, since there's probably a very limited audience (possibly just us) who know what they are, and the rest would probably think it was something very rude....

I'm thinking it might be amusing if he just refuses point blank to explain why he's called his team that, and Sirius is much more interested in speculating about this than answering any questions for his side...

In fact, I think that made it harder, because as well as coming up with the approprate questions, I was second guessing whether they were too easy or not.

I think it's starting with the answers that's the problem for me, and working backwards to the question while, yes, second guessing if this is too obvious, ludicrous or Jamie Oliver is reading and having a fit. Perhaps I should just watch QI this week and nick their questions because, again, possibly only you, me and Alan Davies will know.

Obviously if you want any 'which ingredients turn wheat-free pastry into a glue-like substance that sticks to everything' questions, I'm your girl ;)

Don't think I haven't considered a food intolerance round, which would be much simpler, and nobody would be able to tell me I'm wrong. Plus Tonks revealing she is the only dairy-free Metamorphmagus in existance, could be a great romantic moment for her and our wheat-free werewolf. ;)

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking that by the time the day/fic is done, Snape might have more than one unpleasat memory concerning Sirius seeing his underwear!

Plus Tonks revealing she is the only dairy-free Metamorphmagus in existance, could be a great romantic moment for her and our wheat-free werewolf.

Shame they won't get a chance to eat that stilton sandwich in Up All Night. Not the way to get a first date off to a great start, Remus accidentally feeding her something she's intolerant to, her not wanting to say anything and spending the rest of the night in the lav.