Drabblefic #1: Remus and Greyback, "Lessons"

[gilpin25]

For duck_or_rabbit, who requested Remus, Greyback and the prompt malnourish. I should say here and now that I have abandoned any hope of achieving only 100 words in any of these, unless it's in the intro or title. This one's 395 and still feels short...



Lessons

“How are you, Lupin? Such a shame you missed out last night.”

The voice, coming from the doorway, is solicitous. The dark, misshapen figure, blocking out the early morning sunrise, is not.

“Better now.” Remus lays his quill down and smoothes the ragged piece of parchment out before looking up.

Greyback takes a couple of steps forward, filling the little hut, and smiles. The top lip curling upwards to reveal the yellow incisors. “Lot of sickness about, it seems. Poor food, even bad food I’ve been told, laying people low, with no trace of what it was— ”

“It was odd,” Remus agrees. “But I’m always careful what I eat.”

Greyback frowns. “Starvation leads to bad transformations and wolves too weak and feeble to hunt like last night. What use are they then?”

“There are worse kinds of starvation.” Remus watches the pink and gold light of dawn gently touching the edge of the uneven trellis table he uses as a desk.

“You’re right. Up to the rest of us to provide at these times. Can’t have such as you suffering. Not when I need your help.”

“My help?”

“Mmn.” Greyback takes another step forward and idly picks up the piece of parchment in his darkly stained hands. “Never been much for the letters or reading myself, and when I ask around all the youngsters tell me Lupin’s the one to go to. He'll get me sorted out in no time with a lesson or two!”

“Learning to read and write,” Remus hesitates. “Opens many doors for such as us.”

“Not really proof of that though, are you? Being here.” Greyback gives a short laugh and puts the parchment down. “Doesn’t say much for that quick brown fox you’re on about, either. Still, no use harping on. I need to send a report and my usual letter writer – he got sick last night as well. Can’t understand it, but good job he got the word out to us in the nick of time.”

Remus picks up the quill carefully again. A tiny drop of ink blots the parchment, spreading outwards, as his hand shakes slightly. “What do you want to say?”

“Ah, you see, it’s always the spelling I struggle with. You’ll have to help me out here a bit, Lupin. Brains versus brawn.” The top lip curls back again over the wet teeth. “Now tell me how you'd spell … Montgomery?”

Comments

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

Ooh, Karen...I'd love to read more of Remus underground written by you because this dymanic with Greyback is just so fascinatingly horrifying. Just like I imagine him, sounding solicitous, and yet really being a sicko. Really shows why he's got all these poor, desperate werewolves wrapped around his claws. Poor Remus, having to live here...His calm is just right, but that shaking of the hand really shows what kind of state he's in.

Excellent drabble!

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed writing this - and I wasn't sure I would beforehand. But I like the idea of Greyback always having the upper hand on Remus, even though it is 'brains versus brawn', purely because he will go to levels that Remus won't. So not only is Remus constantly being reminded of what werewolves and himself are capable of, he's also constantly thwarted because he is a good man. Which, I suppose, is the perfect Catch 22 situation, and explains how he is in HBP? And that Dumbledore has a lot to answer for. ;)

I should have written these two drabbles the other way round in order, lol. But thank you very much, and I would like to write some more cat and mouse games between them sometime - except I want Remus to win!

[hrymfaxe.livejournal.com]

Something tells me that Greyback has no illusions as to why Remus joined the pack, but he is feeling secure in his position, and perhaps adheres to the saying: keep you friends close and your enemies closer. He is one scary man and he knows exactly what he is doing. Poor Remus trying to make a difference in that environment, against a leader/tyrant such as Greyback.

I concur with mrstater that I would love to see you write more in this period! Wonderful drabble!

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I think Greyback has worked out here exactly who is responsible for mysterious illnesses and werewolves being unable to hunt, and is determined to make the culprit pay in the most torturous fashion imaginable. As you say, trying to make a difference when up against that kind of situation, and that kind of man would, hopefully, explain why Remus is like he is when we see him in HBP as it must be soul destroying. And why Tonks is so worried, of course.

After I've said all that, it seems wrong to say I enjoyed writing this, but I really did! Evil slimeballs are fun to write, lol. Perhaps I will do some more one day, and I'm very glad you liked it. Thank you.:D

[tegdoh.livejournal.com]

*shudder* I can picture Greyback telling Remus about the Montgomery boy in just such a manner, the bastard. And of course, now I want to read the backstory about Remus poisoning everyone in the camp to try and stop the attack! ;-)

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I'm sure Greyback would take the greatest pleasure in letting Remus know that any plans to scupper the night's events had failed - because he is so utterly twisted, and would enjoy playing games with life and death. Which would also be enough to drive anyone to despair over what good they thought they were doing against someone like that, I imagine.

I'd quite like to write some more fic with these two playing cat and mouse, so you may get that backstory, lol. And, thank you. :)

[applepaper.livejournal.com]

Ahh.
I am so happy that I met you for more ways then one. I truly enjoy reading your fics! These kinds of challenges always excite me. I can't wait to read more as I am usually left with this feeling after reading something you wrote. (omg *blushes* I almost typed wore by accident... thankfully I self edit LOL) I hope you have a great weekend!

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you very much - especially for making me laugh at your near typo! You'll have to tell me who your favourite HP characters are sometime (obviously, I just automatically assume everyone likes R/T;)), and which of the books are your favourites? But, in the meantime, I'm very glad you enjoyed it as I rather enjoyed writing Slimeball Greyback, lol. Just wish he'd got more of a come-uppance in the books!

[merryb87.livejournal.com]

Guh, wonderful job with the fic! I really liked it, and it was nice to see some interaction between Greyback and Lupin. How he would ask Remus to write his letters for him, which must have made it hard for him.

Well done.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you very much. I was a bit 'Oh heck!' when Greyback was the request, but I did enjoy writing him as a sinister slimeball, who would enjoy making Remus play cat and mouse games, and know he had the upper hand as he certainly wouldn't abide by any rules... Poor Remus.

Thanks again!:D

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

Ooh, nice. And by that I mean chilling.

I really thought JKR missed a trick with Greyback - fanfic Greybacks are always so much more frightening than hers, and I liked this take, Greyback being almost Voldemort-like, knowing everything that goes on and playing cat and mouse with people for his own enjoyment.

[sea_thoughts]

I always thought the idea of Greyback was more frightening than his actual presence. Though wasn't he creepy with Hermione in DH?

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

I didn't really think so. Panto!pedo at best, I thought, lol.

[sea_thoughts]

I personally found him very creepy with Hermione. He made my skin crawl. Is it even POSSIBLe to have panto paedophile? ^^;

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I like Greyback - and this - reading as 'chilling', so thanks very much.:D

I know JKR had to be careful about the implications of Greyback (his liking for biting kids and eating people's faces being slightly dodgy bedtime reading material for mums and dads, I imagine?), but when he actually turns up in the books he always seems a bit of a let-down. Whereas I like the idea of this very simple but cunning and brutal man, who won't abide by normal rules, and therefore is very difficult for someone like Remus to outwit purely by intelligence alone. Especially when beset by doubts himself. One of my few glimmers of joy from DH was the werewolves not turning up at the end (though she probably forgot them;)), as I thought at least we can argue he might just have made the vital difference there...

Thanks again! (Do you think Nicholas Cage, bulked up, would perfect in the role...;))

[jdbracknell.livejournal.com]

The werewolves are such a weird thing in DH, because none of it makes sense. One, where are they? Two, if the werewolves are in league with the DEs and the DEs are running the ministry, why is there all the anti-werewolf stuff going on? And if all the anti-werewolf stuff comes from the DEs and they've stabbed the werwolves in the back, why don't they ever make themselves useful and show up anywhere on the other side to get their own back? This is why I backed away from Potter. All the questions seriously damage my calm, lol.

I'd gladly audition for the Trelawney role in DH just for the pleasure of dropping a crystal ball on his head, lol.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I think she dropped the ball on werewolves, full stop. All those questions you've asked would have taken quite a bit of writing, and doubtless a lot less Trio on a camping trip. Which is why I grind my teeth so much as, whatever she says in interviews, I think R/T being canon fodder got rid of a couple of plots she'd have had to do something with... :(

[duck-or-rabbit.livejournal.com]

I read this earlier today, allowing it to cook, and I still haven't arrived at the reaction that captures my reaction. At this point, the best I can give you is a resounding echo of all the comments above. Is it enough if I say it matched exactly what I was gunning for when I threw Greyback in your writerly lap? Jo's evil monsters were conceptually chilling but written merely lukewarm wicked, cool compared to the nano amount of unscrupulous Greyback you just gave. And Remus here so clearly shows that his virtue is his willingness to imitate the villain, that he's strong enough to bear that.

From the perspective of craft, I love that you haunted me with dialogue, not description. Being out of Remus' head and witnessing his interaction with Greyback was where I hoped this would go.

THANK YOU! :D *hugs*

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I had a bit of an OMG! moment when you gave me the prompt (especially as I was imagining Sirius/OC and 'bath' at the time, no idea why;)), but I'm so grateful you did as it made me write a character I probably wouldn't ever have done otherwise. I do think this was the ultimate Catch 22 situation for Remus; confronted by his personal nemesis, and continually hamstrung by the fact that it is his own goodness, and rule abiding, that defeats him. Having done this shortie here, I would love to have them playing some more cat and mouse stuff sometime. I'd have to find a way to let Remus best him somehow, though I think the interesting thing then would be the cost of that...

Thank you, both for a great prompt and for enjoying it too.:D

[duck-or-rabbit.livejournal.com]

I'd have to find a way to let Remus best him somehow, though I think the interesting thing then would be the cost of that...

I would definitely read that, although I already read everything you write. Your take on Greyback's retribution for Remus besting him would be fascinating. As the adage goes, if the devil's in the details, he was right there to greet Remus when he arrived at Hogwarts in DH. I'm really not cruel, I just didn't take it as hard when so many of my favorite characters got spent, lol.

(especially as I was imagining Sirius/OC and 'bath' at the time, no idea why;))

Just wrote a drabble with Lily and Sirius in the bath. Kind of. Maybe that's what you mapped on to? ;)

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Just wrote a drabble with Lily and Sirius in the bath. Kind of. Maybe that's what you mapped on to? ;)

LOL. Must be great minds. I honestly hadn't looked, today being an almost total non-computer event as, after a lie in, we finally saw The Dark Knight, and then I thought I must do my review replies and... I'm still doing them. While trying to think about the next drabble. But I'll look forward to reading that, it'll be an excellent carrot.:D

[duck-or-rabbit.livejournal.com]

we finally saw The Dark Knight

Ah, I really liked that film; I'm a reader of the comics and could easily been let down. Really impressed by how well Nolan is weaving DC Batman's story.

I'd like a Ledger!Joker and Oldman!Gordon icon with a zaney "Why (or why not) so Sirius?" as the text, but I haven't sorted out the proper phrase yet...

Carry on.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

When you keep reading how brilliant something is, it's pretty hard for it not to disappoint, but I thought it was so well done, acted and disturbing - a real Greek tragedy at the end, for all concerned. Mr Gilpin is a comic fan too, and he was impressed.

I'd like a Ledger!Joker and Oldman!Gordon icon with a zaney "Why (or why not) so Sirius?" as the text, but I haven't sorted out the proper phrase yet...

LOL. I think you ought to have the one of Ben combined with one of Batman, and ask why all the best men wear leather and ride bikes?

[duck-or-rabbit.livejournal.com]

all the best men wear leather and ride bikes?

Or dress robes. I just found this today:

http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e290/tsaress/benbarnes/easyvirtue/benbarnes.jpg

*need to write Sirius and Remus in dress robes*

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

I was almost afraid to click on this, because I knew your Greyback would be just this vivid and chilling, heh. But despite the shudders, I'm really glad I did. You've pulled into this brief vignette so many aspects of Remus's HBP mission -- like his trying to find ways to stop the horrors from happening, but not being completely able to, because Greyback is such a horror himself. Or the way he is having a hard time making an argument about this life not being the only choice for a werewolf, since to all appearances even he, with all his advantages, has come down to it himself (I can't help but wonder if Dumbledore (or JKR?) failed to think that point all the way through).

I love the detail of the ink blot and the shaking hand despite the outward calm -- although I don't suppose it escaped Greyback's notice.

I saw above that you might expand this one sometime, and I really hope you do, even though it's going to scare me to read it. ;)

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how pleased I am people seem to find Greyback chilling as I tried to keep him very simple, and it all by implication rather than anything he said or did. Until the last line, anyway. I think the great thing about Greyback is the idea and implications of him - a seemingly child obsessed monster, who doesn't abide by any rules - and that really makes him both Remus' nemesis and nightmare, in more ways than one.

The idea of them playing cat and mouse, intelligence versus cunning, and Remus being hamstrung by his own code of human ethics is a fascinating one. And one I wanted SO much to see tackled in DH, I think that was one of my biggest disappointments. Though as the werewolves didn't turn up at the end, that's gone down as a definite Remus triumph for me, lol.

since to all appearances even he, with all his advantages, has come down to it himself (I can't help but wonder if Dumbledore (or JKR?) failed to think that point all the way through).

I know. It would be great to explore that dilemna in fanfic - I'd love to find some way for Remus to best Greyback at some point, but at what cost to himself?

Thanks for reading and enjoying, if that's the word!

[drumher.livejournal.com]

Absolutely frightening! The relationship between the two is much like the one between Batman and the Joker in the new movie where Batman/Remus (and please don't consider this as an invitation to start a new ship!) is a good man who is limited by his goodness to go where he needs to go to be completely successful in his mission. He can't or won't cross that line. Excellent work as usual.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Don't jump at the speed of this reply, but I am doing them at this very moment and, spookily enough, I saw The Dark Knight today. (And loved it, though what a Greek tragedy it became for all concerned.)

Am pleased you can see the parallels because I was going for just what you've described - that it's the goodness in Remus that means he's hamstrung when dealing with such as Greyback, who abides by no rules. But I was so, so hoping that in DH we were going to see him best Greyback, both by intelligence, and by showing just a bit of the ruthless Remus who'd have killed Peter for betraying someone he loved. Grr. As it is, I shall have to take the crumb of comfort which was the werewolves not fighting at the end, which I've decided means Remus got through to them...

Thank you! Especially for being frightened. ;)

[katyhasclogs.livejournal.com]

Oh Greyback's so creepy. *whimpers*

You really have to write some more about this time - this snippet is so tantalising! I love the complexity of the situation, with them both trying to out-manouvere each other and saying one thing and meaning something else entirely.

Mainly though, I have to complement you on Greyback - he really makes my skin crawl.

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

I'm really pleased Greyback seems so creepy! I always think the implication of what someone is like or could do is usually far worse than what they actually do. And I like the idea of him being simple intellectually, but very cunning because there's no rules he'll abide to.

I do think this was the ultimate Catch 22 situation for Remus; confronted by his personal nemesis, and continually hamstrung by the fact that it is his own humanity that defeats him. Having done this shortie here, I would love to have them playing some more cat and mouse stuff sometime. I'd have to find a way to let Remus best him somehow, though I think the interesting thing then would be the cost of that...

Many thanks. Glad you liked it!:D

[godricgal.livejournal.com]

Greyback doesn't have to say much to be chilling, does he? And you've used that here to great effect, particularly in the first line, when we know precisely what Greyback is referring to. I think with few words, you've managed to convey just why so many of the werewolves have turned to Greyback; he's outwardly quite charming, calmly putting aside any argument for the other way of life, yet there seems to be an element of malice in his tone. That last line is very effective, but it certainly let me with a chill running down my spine! Great job with this!

[gilpin25.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much! Never thought I'd say I enjoyed writing Greyback, but I really did, and I'm very pleased you find him chilling in this. I think the great thing about him is the very idea and implications - a seemingly child obsessed, quite simple intellectually but very cunning monster, who doesn't abide by any rules - and that really makes him both Remus' nemesis and nightmare, in more ways than one. As, of course, it is Remus' humanity which always gets in the way of besting him.

It really has made me want to write a much longer fic for these two at some point. Don't think it will be a very cheery birthday read, though, so it'll have to wait!

Thank you again.:D